A Mom Dilemma

All mom's face dilemmas, but working mom dilemmas are in a class of their own.

I only have a few precious hours with Alex each day. A few minutes in the morning, because I have to be to work by 8AM. Craig doesn't have to be to work until 10AM, so he handles breakfast, daycare drop, etc. And he does a FANTASTIC job. I am so lucky to have a true partner.

Evenings, by the time I get to daycare, it's between 5:30-6PM. Alex is supposed to be in bed by 8:30PM. But invariably, it's closer to 9PM. I just want as much time as I can get with him! He's awake and at daycare longer than he's awake at home. The majority of our time together, is when we are both sleeping. It's hard to take sometimes. It's disappointing too. I just love Alex so much. We make the most of the time we have together. We read, we play, we watch Disney movies/Little Einsteins/Bob the Builder ad nauseum. I get suckered into "just one more book" almost every night. He's not going to be little forever, and really how bad is reading one more book? It's not like he's grabbing "War and Peace!"

But am I hurting him by letting him stay up so late? He's been really crabby in the mornings... but he's just as crabby on the mornings that he gets 11 hours of sleep as he is when he gets less. UGH! This is the kind of internal battle I fight with myself.

I also beat myself up about serving him hot dogs, about him still using a pacifier, and hitting the wall with potty training. It's not easy, whether you work or not. But my other mom friends are a great source of strength and support. My non-mom friends are also great about reminding me to have fun when I can.

I certainly don't have it all figured out, and I probably never will. I just know that I will continue to read one more book, rock a few more minutes, and give more hugs and kisses than Alex probably wants.