I'm Weird About Books

I collect books. Not rare editions. Not classics or specific bindings. Just books.

I joined a site called GoodReads, where you can keep track of what you read.
Through this site, I discovered that I read anywhere from 30-40 books a year... sometimes more.

I have always loved reading. Since I was a kid. I was the kid that always wanted to order
20 books from the book orders in school. And if I saved up my pocket change/allowance/babysitting money, I often did get all the books I wanted from the book order.

My parents never discouraged this obsession. I would spend hours arranging
books on my bookshelves. Sometimes alpha by author. Sometimes by size. Always grouping the books from the same author together. Always keeping books that were part of a series on the same shelf. I dreamed of running a bookstore or a library of my own.

I loved reading so much I majored in it in college.

I'm only slightly kidding here. I majored in English. I have (most of) the books to prove it too. And I've started a half-hearted attempt to read or re-read some of those books. I read so many books for my English major that I don't even remember reading some of them. I've re-read two Jane Austen books now, both books I didn't think I finished the first go-round, only to find notes in my handwriting in the margins all the way through the book.

As I've gotten older I've tried to keep this obsession in check. I have actually sold books to Half-Price Books. I have joined a book swap site Bookmooch.com to capitalize on some of the books I know I will never read again... books that were total duds. But I still love to have my books. My own copies. I dream of a room with wall to wall bookshelves to display my collection on.

I'm not one of those people who can just buy a book, and pass it on to someone else. Once I buy a book, it's mine forever. I love that feeling.

But lately I've gone looking for books that I know I own... that I know I haven't swapped or sold. Where are these books?

Then it occurs to me... I've been loaning books to friends and family members. Most of the time, these friends are really great about borrowing books. They read them and return them right away. My family members? Well, at least I know where they keep my books. I've actually taken books my sister has borrowed and never read off the shelf at her house if I know she won't ever get to it. She's got a couple of bags full of my books. And I can hound my family members
to get them back.

Other friends are truly great friends, but they still have copies of my books that they borrowed YEARS after I loaned them to them. They keep saying "Oh, I'll get it to you." But it never happens. If you lost my book, replace it! If you're not going to read it in the next 6 months, give it back. If you've already read it, for the love of God return it. I guess it's my own fault. I love talking books with friends. I've been in a book club for seven years. So I never thought twice about loaning them to people, because I thought everyone was like me. I thought other people valued books the way I do.

I worry about my books. I take really good care of them. I want them to look good when I get that wall-to-wall bookshelf to display them on. It's sad, but I feel like my books are a part of my life. Each one corresponds to a particular time frame. I read them for specific reasons, whether for book club, as a distraction, to help me through an emotion. They are brain food for me. Each one nourishing in a different way... some fill the basic needs and others are purely dessert.
I love to share these things with others, but I'm not getting them back. And it makes me sad.

There's an old saying... "Lend only those books you wish never to see again."
I guess I need to stop lending books. Because I want to see all my books again.

p.s. This post is not targeted at anyone specific. many of my friends have borrowed books from me. plenty of them have returned them in a timely fashion. But there's about 10 really good books of mine floating around out there, that I'd like to get back. and I'm worried that I'll never see them again.